Actually, I do eat babies.

The Baby-eater's Manifesto

We hold:

1) That from the moment of conception until the completion of birth, the zygote/embryo/foetus receives a conditional gift of residence from the woman within which it resides. It does not have the right to reside inside the woman any more than a houseguest, though invited, has the right to reside within the host's property.

2) That a woman's body is her property and that at any time during pregnancy, the woman has the absolute right to evict the zygote/embryo/foetus in the same manner that an individual may evict a guest (unprotected by contract) from his/her property.

3) That the right to abortion arises from the right to eviction in that the sustenance and protection (and therefore the potential of future viability) the zygote/embryo/foetus receives during its residence are also conditional gifts of the woman. Therefore, before a foetus is deemed independently viable, it does not have the right to life, and the woman has the absolute right to abortion.

4) That after a foetus is independently viable, it has the right to life. However, it still does not have the right to reside, and thus, a woman may still evict it for any reason. At this stage, the state may legislate restrictions on abortion (but not on eviction) with exceptions if the health (physical, psychological, emotional, or otherwise) of the woman is endangered by a non-abortive eviction procedure. This case is admittedly the most problematic, but it is also by far the least common.

Finally, we remind everyone that the support for a right does not entail the exercise of that right; that harsh language does not imply harsh intent; that the law does not prescribe morals; and that, of course, we do not really eat babies.

Mlles Galois, Grantaire, and Fine